A Not So Merry Christmas
by Happy.daze25
Summary: Its Nick and Jess' first holiday season as a couple and everything seems to be against them. Even themselves
1. Chapter 1

**I know it has been a while and it is a little late for a Holiday fic, but hopefully you will like this. Should be about 3 chapters long most of it already written :)**

**Want to thank Newgirl78 for all the help and advice with this fic.**

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Nick never really enjoyed coming home for Christmas; this year seemed to be much worse. He was missing the loft terribly; if he was honest with himself it was Jess that he missed most. It was silly really if he thought about it, he was in Chicago for 8 days which in reality for a couple who had not been together very long, was a normal amount of time to be away from each other. It was bound to happen at some point. The problem was living together so soon after starting to date, Nick had gotten use to Jess always being around. It was difficult at first adjusting going from her roommate to boyfriend but somewhere around Thanksgiving things started to settle down.

It was around the time they were planning their Christmas things got a little awkward. Nick knew that he had to go home; it was the first Christmas without his Dad and he needed to be there for his Mom. He was about to ask Jess to come with him when she told him that her Mom asked for her to visit as they had not seen each other for quite some time. Nick was a little disappointed but at the time it was not that big of a deal, it was only 8 days after all.

The first time it really hit was when he taking her to the airport, she had been a little quiet that morning whilst organizing her things, and even more so in the car. Nick helped get her bags out of the car and took them towards the terminal, even waited right up until the last minute she had to go through to the main terminal. This was the first time that he had done that, always drop and run so he didn't have to pay airport car parking fees. He knew that both of them were delaying the moment as long as possible, trying to keep the conversation light and avoiding what was really on both their minds.

Jess looked at her watch and sighed deeply "I guess I should go though."

Nick tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach, "Oh right already, you are going to be back at home by New Years day right?"

Jess was completely avoiding eye contact, instead choosing to fiddle with her carry on case "err yeah sure. I will be back the day before, you?" She has stopped with the bag finally looking Nick right in the eye.

It may have been his imagination but they seemed bluer than normal. "Sure, with any luck. The flight back lands early morning on the 31st."

"Okay so I am sure that the days will fly." Jess was trying with all her might to be positive, even though it was the last thing she felt like.

"Yeah of course they will. You will barely have time to think with everything I am sure your Mom has planned." He picked up her case handing it to her "So erm, call me when you land or send a text or something." He leaned over giving her a quick kiss on her cheek.

"Will do; don't forget to set your alarm tomorrow. Your Mom won't forgive you if you miss your flight."

They had walked as far as they could together, standing awkwardly in the middle of departure lounge wondering what to say next.

When it looked like Nick was not going to say anything else Jess took a deep breath "I guess bye then."

"Yeah Bye Jess." Nick wanted to say more to tell her how he was really feeling, but he could not form the words, he ended up just standing there staring at her.

It hurt to watch her walk away, especially as he knew she wanted him to say something else.

Two days later Nick was still kicking himself over the way things were left at the airport. There had been very little time to actually talk to Jess, both seeming to miss each other between other commitments that the Christmas holidays brought. The first call once Jess had arrived in Portland, had been very awkward and stilted. He was pretty sure that they were both avoiding talking over the phone.

Needless to say, so far, Nick's Christmas had not been going well. Even his normally clueless brother had asked him if he was alright. It was now coming up to 2am Christmas morning, and Nick had been trying to write Jess a text for when it struck midnight in Portland and he was now running out of time. The text went through several draft; too formal, too sappy.

In the end, instead of getting even more frustrated, he sent a very simple one:

Merry Christmas Jess! x

The phone would have gotten thrown across the room if he hadn't just replaced it a few months ago when he and Jess had been in Mexico. No way was he going to have to buy another phone. Immediately after pushing send, he turned off the phone to stop himself from checking it every 5 minutes to see if she had replied. This worked for a few hours whilst he tossed and turned. Eventually, he ended up switching the damn thing on anyway, only to be left worse by the lack of response. Now he was never going to sleep.

Christmas Day past in a blur, Nick barely registering what was going on around him as he spent most of his time staring at the silent phone. Finally he gave up and decided he may as well go to bed. At least that way, he could be in a bad mood without anyone asking him every five minutes what was wrong or have his Mom hover around to see if he needed anything.

Eventually, he fell asleep on top of the covers still fully dressed, and it wasn't until the early hours of the morning that Nick woke to a ringing phone. Without thinking to see who it was, he assumed it was Schmidt and he answered rather gruffly.

"What!"

It wasn't until he was met with silence on the other end, that Nick woke up enough to realize who could be calling. "Jess?"

"Um yeah Nick, sorry to call so late. I'll let you get back to sleep." Jess sounded sad to him, but he was so relieved to hear her voice

"No wait Jess, its okay. Sorry I thought it had been one of the guys. How are you?" Nick replied eagerly.

"I'm okay, I guess. Mom has been keeping me busy. Did you have a good day?"

"Suppose. Same old holiday stuff, though little harder this year." And not just for the reason you would think, he added silently.

"Of course sorry, how is your Mom? Stupid question sorry... again" Nick couldn't see it but Jess was cursing herself at the other end. It had never been so difficult for her to talk to Nick, even at the beginning.

"Jess its fine, stop apologizing. Mom is fine under the circumstances. She said to say 'Hi' if I spoke to you."

"Give her my love." Jess sighed. This was not going well. "I guess I will let you get some sleep. Goodnight Miller."

"Goodnight Day." Nick held the phone to his ear even after the line went dead "I miss you" he said to an empty line.

The next couple of days dragged on, yet Nick couldn't say how he spent them as they all blurred into one. Neither Nick nor Jess wanted to try talking over the phone after the disaster of the first call.

The only communication was to Schmidt who warned Nick that he was arranging a New Year's party in his apartment and he had better be there. Other than that he spoke very little to his other roommates.

It wasn't until he was packing late on the 30th that his phone rang again, seeing the loft number appear.

"Hey."

"Nick, thank god you had your phone on." Schmidt sounded panicked the other end. Nick thinking he was having so crisis over something ridiculously pointless, didn't pay much attention to his friend's blabbering. It wasn't until he heard Jess' name that he started to pay attention.

"Schmidt wait, what was that about Jess?"

"See you never listen to me do you. I will repeat it one more time Nick due to the urgency, but if you don't..."

"Schmidt, just God damn tell me what is up with Jess." Nick interrupted Schmidt's lecture.

"Right sorry. We went to pick her up from the airport and she wasn't there. Cece phoned her Mom and she said that Jess had left for the airport and had not heard from her since." Schmidt tried to break this to Nick as gently as someone like Schmidt could.

Nick's heart rate picked up "Please tell me someone has heard from her."

"No. Nick we tried the best we could, but her phone is switched off."

"What about the airport? Can we find out if she at least checked in?" At this point Nick was feeling sick. He waited for an answer, to be met by silence. "Schmidt?" Nick spoke with a warning tone; he was barely keeping it together.

"Jess' mom called explaining the situation. I'm sorry Nick, apparently she never even check in." Schmidt knew how his friend really felt about Jess, even if Nick didn't really know himself. This had to be one of the hardest conversations they had ever had.

"Schmidt, where the hell is my girlfriend?" Nick closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose; losing his temper was not going to help Jess.

"Nick, we don't know." Schmidt finally getting to the point of the call.

"I have to go. If you hear from her, please let me know as soon as possible." Nick just prayed that she had been slightly delayed and would walk through the apartment door any second.

"Sure, of course man."

As soon he hung up with Schmidt, Nick rushed to get the land line to call the airline. There was no way he was going to be able to sit here and do nothing. Not caring what it cost he was going to get back to LA as soon as he possibly could. Managing to get a flight for that night, Nick made sure that his phone was fully charged so he could be contacted right up until he got on the plane.

The four hours and forty minutes back to LA was the longest he had ever experienced, not being able to use his phone did not help. As soon as the plane touched down he switched his phone back on. Scrolling through, he hoped that he would see a text from someone, telling him that Jess was safe and back home or at least a text from Jess saying that she was fine. Unfortunately this was not the case, there were a couple from Schmidt and Winston both saying the same thing in their own words – no news.

Coach came to pick Nick up from the airport, he was glad to see someone familiar knowing he would at least be home soon. He found out from Coach that Joan had contacted the police but they could not count Jess as missing until 24 hours since she was last seen or heard from.

Nick couldn't believe what he was hearing. Missing. This couldn't be happening.

Coach was polite enough to ignore the silent tears coming from Nick. He may not have known Jess as long as the others, but he hated seeing his friend in this state. The others weren't doing that well either, but Nick was a mess.

Nick arrived home just after dark to everyone sitting in the living room. Cece ran up to Nick to hug him. This was not good, Nick was relying one her to be the one to keep her emotions in check.

"Still nothing then?" He spoke directly to Schmidt who was watching Cece with her arms around Nick.

Schmidt couldn't get the words out and Nick was an absolute wreck. All he could do was shake his head.

Once Nick managed to get Cece off him, he asked for all the details again, wanting to make sure they hadn't missed anything. It turned out the others had phoned everyone they knew, hoping someone would have heard from her.

Nick couldn't listen anymore, his was sick to his stomach. Silence fell over the loft, as each one of them hoped that the phone would ring with news. It rang several times times and every time it did the occupants of the loft held their breath, but it was always someone looking for news rather than offering it.

Not being able to sit in the room any longer Nick got up to pace, he ended up in the hallway between both their rooms. This is where is all started he thought to himself. Back then he thought it had been a mistake to kiss her, but he had been wrong. It had been the best decision he ever made.

No, the best decision was running back out of that hotel and un-calling it.

The tiredness was starting to hit him and he knew he needed to at least get some sleep. Looking between the two rooms he nearly entered his own, until he changed his mind at the last minute and walked in to Jess', needing to be close to her somehow. Not bothering to undress he just removed his shoes, and laid down on her side of the bed. He knew it was the right choice when the smell of her shampoo and perfume engulfed him. It at least offered some comfort to him.

Nick started thinking about the airport when they said goodbye. He was so angry with himself for not saying what he should have, that he would miss her. That he... that he loved her. He should have told her a long time ago, not caring that it was too soon. Nothing was ever too soon when it came to Jess. What if, God forbid, he never saw her again? She was the reason he looked forward to getting up in the morning, he didn't know if he could go on without her.

"Come back to me Jess, please." He spoke quietly into the darkened room.

Surrounded by Jess' scent he fell into a fitful sleep, barely getting a few hours of rest.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here you go! Hope you like it. :) **

**Also MASSIVE thank you to Newgirl78 :)**

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Jess could not believe this traffic, it was the perfect end to what had been an awful trip. First there was that terrible goodbye at the airport with Nick. Then her Mom, sensing that she was down about something, decided the best way to deal with it was to keep her as busy as possible. Jess has spent the last couple of days going to several neighbors houses for dinner, volunteering at Christmas fairs at the local school and Christmas carolling. Most nights Jess went to bed utterly exhausted. The one night she managed to stay awake long enough to talk to Nick, she almost wished she hadn't. The call had been filled with awkward conversation; Jess would like to think it was because she was tired, or it was the fact that Nick didn't like talking on the phone. Though, being completely honest with herself, Jess knew it was because of the way they had left at the airport.

Jess just couldn't understand it; things had been going so well up to that point. Thanksgiving had been a disaster, but it had ended well with Nick taking such great care of her. She thought that maybe they had made progress in their relationship. If Jess really thought about it, he had gone a little quiet leading up to the holidays, but he never seemed to like going home. She had just assumed that's what it was about.

Now she was already running late and had gotten stuck in the mother of all traffic jams and was very close to missing her flight. All she wanted to do was see Nick and talk to him; she just had to know what was going on. A part of her was scared of what he would say, had he had enough? Jess hoped not, she was definitely feeling more and more for him. As usual Jess fell first, she was a little annoyed with herself. It's not like Nick was unknown, she knew exactly what he was like. Time after time Jess watched while he ran and/or screwed up relationships. Why should this one be any different for him?

The cab finally pulled up in front of the airport. In a hurry Jess threw money at the driver, not knowing how much she actually gave him, feeling a little bad about being rude but not really having the time to do anything about it. Dashing through the departure lounge trying to find the right desk, of course it ended up being on the opposite end of the airport. Her old gym teacher would have been proud at the speed she was going running.

"Hi I'm here all ready to check in" Jess called out at the person behind the counter. Finally reaching the counter she put her ticket on the desk, completely out of breath "Hi, so glad that you are still here. Thought I was too late. Checking in for the LA flight." Jess smiled her friendliest smile, so relieved that she was finally on her way home.

"You are." The bored tone of the checking in clerk replied.

Jess who was sorting out her bag didn't quite hear. Standing there with a smile on her face, she looked expectantly back, "All sorted?"

"No, you are."

"I'm what?" The smile slowing fading away from Jess' face.

"You are too late, check-in closed 15 minutes ago. Sorry." The blond behind the counter replied, showing no remorse at all.

"No, no, no please you have to let me on that flight." Jess knew there was no chance, but felt that she had to at least give it a try.

Not even saying a word the clerk walked off. Jess just stood there, willing herself not to cry. There was still hope, all she had to do was get another flight. It would get her back a little later than planned, but at least it would get her back.

"What do you mean there is nothing!" Jess exclaimed, having just spent an hour in the ticket desk queue "I have to get home."

"I am sorry Miss Day, but all the flights to LA are full. The next one we have is in 3 days." At least this clerk sounded sorry. "Maybe we can at least get you close to LA. Got someone special waiting for you at home?"

"I do. My boyfriend. We haven't seen each other since before Christmas." A soft smile appeared on Jess' face when she thought of Nick.

"Well let's keep our fingers crossed that we find something and get you home to ring in the New Year."

"I would appreciate that, thanks." Jess replied, hoping that luck would finally be on her side.

"You are in luck, if you're fast enough, there is a flight leaving very soon for San Francisco. It will get you half way there."

"Yes, yes please. However much it cost."

"Glad you said that dear, because this is not going to be cheap." Gulping a little at the price, but reminding herself why she was doing this, Jess handed over her card.

"Okay, so you're all booked. If you can hurry to the gate, you should make it. Best of luck."

"Thank you so much." Jess shouted back as she turned down the corridor.

Jess made it to the terminal just as they began boarding. Since there were a few people in front of her, she reached inside her bag to find her find. She was hoping to send a quick text to the others letting them know what was going on.

"Excuse me Miss, may I have your boarding pass? We need to get everyone on the plane."

"Oh sure here you go." Jess placed her phone in her coat pocket, completely missing the low battery sign flashing.

Finally making her way to her seat, Jess breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, she would be able to relax a little before continuing her journey from San Francisco. "Oh, must send that text."

As she pulled the phone from her pocket, it gave a very noticeable bleep. "Crap! No no no. This cannot be happening. Of course this can be happening, apparently this is the way things are going for me now."

The person sitting beside Jess gave her an odd look. Putting the headphones into their ears, they tried their best to avoid any kind of contact that may draw the crazy woman into conversation.

Jess continued to mutter to herself, trying to talk herself out of a full blown melt down. "It's okay Jess, just another minor change to the plan. You will just call them once you land, and everything is sorted out. I mean, it would be nice if this flight was heading to LA, but that is the way things go sometimes. You just have to be positive. All will be okay."

The flight was only an hour and half long, but it seemed more like six. Finally the plane touched down, and everyone left the plane at what seemed to be a snail pace. Jess ran towards the first telephone she could find. The first one was out of service, but she turned to see another just a few feet down the hallway. When she got to the second box she let out a gleeful yelp at the sound of the dial tone. Reaching into her bag, Jess hoped that she at least had some change. When her hand did not touch her purse where it would normally be, Jess began to panic. She frantically rummaged through her things, but turned up empty handed. She crouched on to the floor tipping everything out, hoping with all hope that she had just missed it underneath all her things. Her stomach dropped and she felt physically when it was obvious that her purse was no where to be found.

This was the final straw; Jess slumped back against the wall, too exhausted to even cry. What was she going to do? She was still a six hour drive away from home, with no money and no way of contacting the people at home to let them know what was happening. Having sat there longer than she should have, Jess got to her feet and started to walk. Even though ever step felt like a ton of bricks, at least she had an idea where she left her purse. She could almost see it on the desk where she had checked in for her flight. After a length discussion and an even longer phone call, it was determined that she had, in fact, left it sitting on the desk.

Once she arranged to have the purse returned, the next move was to try to get in touch with someone and finally find a way home. First, she called LAX to have Schmidt and Cece paged, but they had either left or didn't hear the announcement. Then, after much begging and pleading, the assistant finally let her call the loft. When no one answered, she strained to remember any of her friends' cell phone numbers, but came up blank. Feeling foolish for not remembering anyone's cell number, even her own mother's, she let out a frustrated scream.

"Miss, I am sorry, but I am going to have to ask for the phone back."

"Please just let me try one more time, I need to get a hold of someone."

"You have tried seven times already, clearly no one is home." By this point, the customer service guy sounded annoyed and just wanted to get rid of Jess so he could go on his break. It had been a very long day.

"I suppose, but what I am going to do?" not really expecting an answer.

"I'm sorry I don't know."

Jess found the nearest bench and collapsed onto the seat. Not being able to hold back the tears any longer she started to cry. People walked passed ignoring her, getting on with their daily lives. After several minutes passed, an older gentleman sat beside her, "What's wrong dear?"

Jess sniffled, and then all of a sudden everything that she had been going through came out. She couldn't hold back. She started rambling about her and Nick, even before they started dating. She mentioned the way they had left things a few days ago, concluding with how she ended up in an airport all alone. Despite not understanding half of Jess' emotional outburst, the older man sat and listened to her entire story.

"And now I just need to get back to LA. I have to see Nick." She wasn't expecting the old man to be any help, but it was nice of him to listen.

"Well, I am not too sure what you can do about the Nick problem, but I happen to be meeting a brother of mine. Then we are going on a little southern road trip. If you fancy joining us we will be happy to take you."

"Really, I haven't got any access to any money; I won't be able to help with gas or anything." The way it had been going Jess really, really did not want to get her hopes up.

"Nonsense, we are heading that way anyway. You are more than welcome to join two grumpy old men."

"Then I'd love to. Thank you! Thank you so much." Jess was so happy she hugged the man who had just saved her from moving in on the airport floor. "You don't happen to have a phone on you do you?"

"Err no dear don't trust the things, unable to help you there. I am Charlie, by the way." Charlie held out his hand this time, rather than receiving another hug.

"Jess, it's very nice to meet you."

As soon as Charlie's brother, Tommy, arrived they were on their way. It was already quite late when the three of them started for LA. Jess would have preferred to carry on driving though the night, but the two brothers were tired and didn't want to be stuck in the car overnight. Being two against one, the road trip resulted in stopping at a motel for the night. Jess felt a little awkward, but having no choice, slept on the couch in the same room as the brothers.

As she laid there, her thoughts turned to Nick. He would be so angry at her for getting in the car with two strangers, never mind actually staying in the same room. Jess spent the first part of the night tossing and turning, unable to sleep. Not only were her own thoughts keeping her awake, but the two snoring brothers were making it impossible to fall asleep. She was so tired, all she wanted was to sleep, preferably in Nick's arms.

After struggling for another hour, Jess decide to take a walk. She was hoping she could talk the night clerk into letting her use the phone. Creeping out as quietly as she could, she was hit with a blast of cold air when she opened the door. Jess jogged her way to the front desk, ringing the bell to get someone's attention.

"Alright stop ringing that blasted thing. What, Princess, need another mattress?" The guy who leered around the corner gave Jess the creeps. Starting to regret her decision, she took a couple of steps back from the desk.

"Oh sorry, it's nothing. Sorry for disturbing you." Jess mumbled walking further towards the exit.

"So you woke me up for nothing? Well that is nice." The guy sat down on the reception chair, propping his feet on the desk.

"Well I was just wondering if it was possible to use your phone?" At this point Jess hoped the guy would say no, so she could get the heck out of there.

"Sure you can Princess, go ahead." The guy made no effort to move, gesturing to the phone.

"Thanks." Jess dialed the number "Please be there. Please be there."

"'I'm sorry the number you called in busy.' Damn it!" She slammed the phone back down. That was it, she was sick of trying to call.

"Your fella not there? You know what they say... when the cats away."

"Yeah, thanks for your help." Jess was too tired to even be annoyed by his comment.

Jess wasn't ready to head back to the room, trying to be quite while the others slept seemed almost painful right now, but it was too cold to stay outside. At a loss for what to do, she looked around until she spotted a 24-hr diner up the street.

She made her way to the diner, hoping the waitress would at least let her sit without ordering anything, maybe offering to help would do the trick. Thankfully the waitress was very nice, and was glad for Jess' company on the slow night.

They sat there talking and gossiping until the sun started to rise. "I'd better go before Charlie and Tommy forget me. Thank you for the free coffee, it was much needed."


	3. Chapter 3

On New Year's Eve morning, Nick woke up to a tense atmosphere, having still not heard a thing from Jess. Knowing he could not take much more he moved to the roof. Winston came up to bring him something to eat, which he ate more out of need than actually want. Everything seemed to taste like cardboard. Jess always made them a nice lunch if they were lucky to both be off, he liked to watch her in the kitchen as she prepared the food normally talking to herself.

Once the 24 hours had passed, Joan phoned them to let them know that the police were now going to be looking into her disappearance.

Disappearance.

So that's it, he thought. Jess was now officially a missing person. With that piece of information the lunch that Winston made soon found its way into the toilet. It had been too much for Nick to take at that point.

By late afternoon, Nick was still on the roof when Winston sat down next to him. There had been a lot of times over the years when Winston had been worried about Nick, but this had to be the worse state that he had seen him in.

"It will be alright Nick, she will be home soon."

"I hope so Winston, I really need for that to be true." Nick replied without even looking at his oldest friend.

Winston didn't say anymore, just sat there with Nick. Knowing that all he could do for him was just be there.

The cold settled in, and Nick reluctantly left the roof to return to the loft. During the day Schmidt had decided not to cancel his party, so at least he had something to do to keep him busy. Between Nick and Cece he didn't know what else to do.

Joan called to check in just after dusk "Apparently Jess missed her flight to LA, getting a flight to San Francisco instead. After that the police are not sure what happened to her."

Nick wasn't sure if this news helped at all, but at least they knew something.

Midnight was drawing closer and closer, and before they knew it is was 5 minutes to the New Year. No one felt like celebrating, barely even registering the time. At 3 minutes, Nick hear a commotion outside the door. Thinking it was party goers they ignored it, until the door opened a couple of seconds later.

It was a very surreal moment for all of them, standing in the doorway was a very dishevel Jess. Everyone else stood up staring at her, almost as if they did not believe she was standing there.

"Jessica?" Nick whispered.

Jess nodded starting to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Jess!" Nick ran around the couch to be the first to take Jess into his arms. The others stayed back, knowing that now that Jess was home, it was going to be alright. It was Nick who needed to be with her first, they could wait, even Cece.

"You're okay." Nick said into her hair.

"I'm here Nick, I'm so sorry. I had one hell of a journey." She replied holding Nick close. She hadn't been lying. There were times on her journey when she thought she would never be back in Nick's arms.

"No Jess, I am sorry. I should never have let you leave like that. I should have told you..." Nick started.

The background noise started 5 – 4- 3- 2 -1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! Then all the fireworks going off everywhere.

Jess could not hear a word of what Nick was saying. "Nick what was that?"

"I LOVE YOU JESSICA DAY!" he shouted. This time the whole room heard and he didn't care.

"I love you too Nick." Jess started to cry, the emotion of the last week and being back with Nick rushing over her.

Nick pulled away slightly to take a good look at her. His palm cupped her face and his thumb wiped some of the tears away "Happy new year Jessica."

Jess laughed, having completely forgotten what day it was, even with all the noise around them. "Happy new year Nick."

Nick leaned in for a quick kiss. He didn't want to get too carried away. There would be enough time for that when they were alone later, and boy did he plan on making on for lost time!

Before he pulled away to let the others greet her, Nick whispered into her ear "Just so you know Jess, next year we stay together."

"Could not agree with you more Nick."

By this point Cece decided that Nick had enough time greeting her friend and not so subtly nudged him out the way.

Nick caught Jess' hand, finding it extremely difficult to let her go.


End file.
